Blissful Peace

There are two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything

Is a miracle.

Albert Einstein

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It comes down to just a little effortless switch of the mind. I expect miracles and when I don’t open my eyes to them… a letter in the mail… news from afar…  I become a blank… depression sets in and nothing has any glory left in it. Then something catches my eye and the wonder returns: the light cast from the evening sun through the lacy leaves of a Mimosa tree… the blossoms of a Jacaranda… a bowl of rice… a lover’s laughter. It all returns in a flash. Is it so wrong to be tossed about by raw emotions? Isn’t that what passion for life is about? I don’t meditate to still my emotions but to fire them up! Fire them up with the will to live… to stand and breathe in the power and this is blissful peace.

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A Bitter Pill

When I am threatened… when my options narrow themselves down to zip… nil… void… I fall back on primitive beliefs for rescue. The adage that insists “there are no atheists in the foxhole” arises out of such desperation. After that comes the kind of resignation that accepts the will of God. It no longer matters what my philosophical or abstract theoretical theology has defined of God and God's will in more pleasant times, I kneel and pray… I beg and plead… my hope is far away and I cry out like a bleating lamb to the slaughter. This is where I am in all humility… this is where I am closest to the Heart of Compassion even though I might hate what is going down around me. Do the next right thing… that is all… open my heart to compassion and let it bleed. “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in our philosophy…” said the Bard. I have to leave it at that and be grateful for the love that has been shown to me and the bitter pill I must swallow at times to live life fully. Is the future so bleak that I give up or the past cumbersome enough for me to let go of it? Is the present moment so frightening that I can't live in it and be grateful? When the time comes I will know.

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Aside from that, my Bon Bon is going to have open heart surgery next Tuesday... fear... smashing doubt... crushing anticipation...

Depression

Heart heavy and mind fogged with an enduring sadness… a sadness … a bleak numbness that blots out all joy … not so dreary as grief… it sits on my chest. It sits doing nothing on the border of resignation… resignation: the companion of acceptance… acceptance that goes nowhere quickly and does nothing brashly… heart heavy and mind fogged by sadness, I trudge through sorrow.

Depression: there is nothing else to do but to allow it to pass…. I’ve been here before and will visit this desert again… but I don’t live in this wasteland…. just passing through. Allow it to pass because of its own time it will…

Here is where I seek refuge in the Heart of Compassion. Here is where I seek refuge in the Dharma. Here is where I seek refuge in the Sangha.

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The Bridge

If resistance to meditation is a common feature of your practice, then you should suspect some subtle error in your basic attitude. Meditation is not a ritual conducted in a particular posture. It is not a painful exercise, or period of enforced boredom. And it is not a grim, solemn obligation. Meditation is mindfulness. It is a new way of seeing and it is a form of play. Meditation is your friend. Come to regard it as such and resistance will disappear like smoke on a summer breeze.

Henepola Gunaratana;

Mindfulness in Plain English

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I remember how I felt when I first began to regularly practice meditation. I have a fused spine so it is too difficult for me to assume the lotus position… or to sit directly on the ground. Others, who have experience with hatha yoga, look so beautiful and full of grace as they sit with ease for as long as they wish with legs crossed. I had to give up preconceived notions of what meditation was to me before I found that a short stool, or even a chair with a back, works best. If I am to relax enough to quiet the mind, I can’t be distracted by a ridiculous adherence to self-imposed physical discomfort. The bridge to cross the stream of consciousness into mindfulness is already constructed; why then should I impose on myself a forced march to ford it?

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The Sky is the Limit

Take care not to impose anything on the mind. When you meditate, there should be no effort to control, and no attempt to be peaceful. Don’t be overly solemn or feel that you are taking part in some special ritual; let go even of the idea that you are meditating. Let your body remain as it is, and your breath as you find it.

            Think of yourself as the sky, holding the whole universe.

Glimpse After Glimpse

Sogyal Rinpoche

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It is one of those paradoxes that I put aside a part of my morning with a space for meditation and yet I still must drop all pretenses that I am doing anything more special than breathing… taking the time to do nothing more than to breathe. Spiritual competitiveness tells me that we have to have candles, incense, a beautiful altar and the best: the most righteous church, the best master, guru, teacher, sponsor or guide to practice the dharma, the Steps or the best of any one of a thousand spiritual disciplines. While there is nothing “wrong” about any of these extras; and, not only that, I have found it to be important for me to set aside a time and place to start my day; yet, when I sit, I am sitting…that is all. This attitude makes meditation portable. I can pause and breathe while waiting in line at the market. I can breathe while in traffic. I can breathe anywhere I am and I can make contact with my inner master… the Heart of Compassion. This frees me from the trap of the ego… of being a follower or a disciple of an idol that will fall.

Isn’t it an amazing phenomena that (if I progress enough to be honest with myself), whenever I put anyone on a pedestal, the edifice crumbles with time and I find out that the person I admire is human or that this practice or religion is made up of humans? In this space in which I simply breathe, I am not a Buddhist, Hindu, a Catholic, a Christian, Muslim, Jew, or a disciple of anyone. To become more human is the idea here: to become a disciple of everyone and not anyone. The Heart of Compassion is open to all of us at any time and any place. It is open to me and I am the sky.

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Thoughts Have Density

If we are interdependent with everything and everyone, even our smallest, least significant thought, word, and action have real consequences throughout the universe.

Throw a pebble into a pond. It sends a shiver across the surface of the water. Ripples merge into one another and create new ones. Everything is inextricably interrelated. We come to realize that we are responsible for everything we do, say, think, responsible in fact for ourselves, everyone and everything else, and the entire universe.

Glimpse After Glimpse

Sogyal Rinpoche

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I once had a friend that often said, “Be careful what you think, thoughts have density.” It seems a heavy burden of responsibility once I accept this proposition. However, I have found that I can change my thinking by not taking action on negative impulses and simply trying to change how I act and react to fear. Fear is at the root… the boogieman… behind and underneath motivations based on hatred, greed… lies and deception project a false image of my self and the confusion this causes multiplies exponentially. But, I have come to understand that the opposite is also true and that positive energy is more productive and powerful. Even the slightest positive gesture can turn around a mountain of despair. The ripple effect is seen everywhere… time and time again… a handful of people have opened minds to whole new paradigms. It can be seen in the evolution of societies in the grand scale but all these changes came about with a simple insight that was acted upon (from Jesus Christ to Mahatma Gandhi to Martin Luther King). All the evil in the world is counterbalanced by simple gestures of kindness displayed by each and every one of us… from the love of a mother for her child to a hand reaching out to help another, we are connected.

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Do I Owe Asclepius a Rooster?

I am never far from those with faith, or even from those without it, though they do not know it, though they do not see me. My children will always, always, be protected by my compassion.

Padmasambhava

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My heart wants to know, in times of tragedy, where is the Heart of Compassion? Yesterday a madman with a gun killed four innocent people in Santa Monica. His victims certainly started out their day without thought that a bullet would take their lives before the day ended. Where is the compassion of God in these instances? It seems arbitrary and unjust… these people didn’t have it coming. I feel it is important to ask these questions and to pray for understanding. More importantly, the arbitrariness of these senseless acts of violence make it all the more important that those I love know it; that my actions are just and clear; that my grudges are settled; that my conscience is clean. In the end it doesn’t really matter whether God is just or not. I leave those questions to the philosophers. As far as my life is concerned, I am enjoying my morning coffee and I can check my balances, knowing whether or not I “owe Asclepius a rooster?”

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