I Sit and Breathe

Taking responsibility for my sobriety is the basic obligation from which all other duties emanate. Second to physical sobriety arises the importance of emotional sobriety. There is enough damage done around the planet by folks, regardless of their motivations, acting on the behalf of others because it feels good to them. Therefore, I start my day with a good look at myself. I sit and breathe for a few minutes and listen for that inner-voice. Sitting and breathing… call it meditation if you will.

Most people make too big of a deal out of the act of meditation. Whatever work I do depends upon a presence of mind that enables me to know right and wrong with what I employ my heart, my hands and my intentions. I find emotional balance by sitting a few minutes and simply breathe. It seemed absurd to me at first but I tried it. I realize that I breathe while I sleep…. I breathe while I eat… I breathe while I work… why not take a few minutes out of my days to sit and breath. It is no contest. I don’t have to do it for an hour or twenty minutes. A pause at my desk for a second or two is fine. There is nothing I have to achieve… I just breathe, if only for a short time. Being conscious of my breath I become conscious of how delicate is the balance between life and death. I can’t seek out the best interests of my fellows if I can’t appreciate my own life.

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Sexual Morality

I have met very few heterosexual adolescent men (I can’t speak for women: who are bio-chemically set-up differently) that felt themselves to be entirely innocent along the lines of sexual conduct at one time or another. This phenomenon seems to hold true whether or not the poor lads have ever gotten laid. Adolescent men, for the most part, are driven by hormones to mate. It matters not a whit whether the mate we choose is a lifelong partner or a one-night-stand. Where we usually go wrong is in pretending we have other intentions beyond that of the base necessity to divulge this natural inclination. Many of us, and statistics bear this true) will tell her anything we think she wants to hear to get between her thighs. We will spill blood (metaphorically or not) on any man that gets in our way. Or, if we can’t make it ourselves, hold in contempt, those more powerful that get there in lieu of us. Once we obtain that goal we get bored and will try to satisfy that urge beyond the bed of fidelity.

Does this phenomenon nullify our morality and/or spiritual strivings? I think not, because, even a greater number of us find serenity and peace by acting against this drive once our hormones settle down or we grow-up earlier than that and take responsibility for our lives.

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[1] geo 4,616

We See Through the Glass Darkly

One of the most beautiful chapters in scripture can be found in Saint Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, chapter thirteen, that ends with these three verses:

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

For now we see through a glass darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as I am known.

And now abides faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

See, hear, speak and do no evil.

There is a mountain of wisdom and meaning in these verses. Some would say that it pertains only to that time when all good Christians get to Heaven and all wisdom will be revealed to a gaggle of jumpin’ corpses. But, even within that frame, it tells us to simply grow-up and act in the spirit of Love.

I can recall an incident that occurred when I took my second year sobriety chip. Some other George had recently gone back to drinking a few days before. I took my chip but later heard that people were gossiping about me having the cheek to stand in front of my fellow alcoholics and taking a chip for two years when I only had a few days since my last drunk. When I first heard the rumor I was miffed, but, after I calmed down a bit, I became pleased that they were even talking about me. After all, my friends knew better of me. I knew better of me. But, more importantly, the Spirit of Recovery within my heart knew better of me. Why should I not have fun with it? But, more importantly, why should I care what folks with idle minds think of me?

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My Friends Have Been My Teachers

As the rising sun paints
La Cumbre peak my back porch
 becomes my best teacher

There was a time that I looked at spiritual paths and was intimidated by the idea that I ought to subject myself to a guru, sensei, or master of one sort or another. However; the truth I have found by simply bowing to any other human being and listening for their innate wisdom has served me well. I can’t count all of the people who have befriended me along this path and have helped me to understand the deeper recesses of my behaviors and motives. Some have been teachers, some have been therapists, family members and so on; but, for the most part, it has been an honest friend whose hand was offered when I needed it most… Yes, exactly when I needed it most. Some are not at all on the path I have chosen and sometimes it was a judge in a courtroom at sentencing time while others simply said something about themselves while sitting  in a bar with me over a cold beer… but they have been there and I love you all.

Thank you.

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Coping with Pain

There is a lot of talk around the recovery community about the problems associated with finance and romance but physical pain and anxiety have to be right up there. After all, most MD’s will have a pill for the symptoms and we aren’t very inclined to deny ourselves of the benefit of relief they offer. Temporary pain is one thing and most can endure that; but, persistent pain, even at lower levels, can sap the strength out of the strongest of us. Pain can be one of the ways that the doors to addiction are opened because of the need for long-term use of strong pain relievers.

What can practically be done about the situation? Coping with pain through physical therapy is helpful but sometimes we need something more from the medical professions. The good news is that there are medications available now that are not opiates and are non-addictive. Along with specialists whose practice is in the field of pain and addiction, who have their fingers on the pulse of our condition, there is hope for the future in  this field. If we are committed to go to any lengths to stay sober we must use every asset available to us.

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geo, 4,613

False Humility vs False Pride

I once heard a Talk-Show Radio shrink say that there are two distinct types of people who don’t respond very well to treatment. One type wants to be fixed and will surrender all pride to make you fix them. This type will do nothing for them selves and are usually resentful if the therapist doesn’t rush in all Florence Nightingale with all the right bandages. The other types are the prideful ones who resist all attempts to break through their defenses. The overly prideful refuse all help and already have all the answers. I take this to mean that I am better off being willing to take the necessary action to help myself but remaining open-minded to the help of others. Whatever the case, the healing comes from inside. This balance arises from the active seeking of an inner-resource, above and beyond all human power. False humility, in this case, is as obstructive as false pride and we all have heard where false pride takes us.

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Life is that Moment Between Breaths

Here I am… meditating. How about that… eh? Sitting on a cushion and taking on that wild country between my ears. It is wild country there, but not unlike any other wild country, it is a wonderland with an infinity of marvels to explore. But, before I go there, I have this weird relationship with my body that ought to be addressed. I can do that by paying attention to my breath… not counting them… not thinking about them… but paying attention… to the feel… the smell… the texture of the air as it cycles through my lungs… throat… nostrils: In and out… a continual flowing… a stream. I have heard it said that life is the moment between the inhaling and exhaling of God’s breath. It doesn’t matter where I was before or where I’ll be after each breath. It does matter that I am here… now… in each breath.

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