Walking Amends

TWELVE STEPS

AND

TWELVE TRADITIONS

STEP NINE

(p. 83)

1. There will be those who ought to be dealt with just as soon as we become reasonably confident that we can maintain our sobriety. 2. There will be those to whom we can make only partial restitution, lest complete disclosures do them or others more harm than good. 3. a. There will be other cases where action ought to be deferred, and, b., still others in which, by the very nature of the situation we shall never be able to make direct personal contact at all.

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These are, for many people, the most difficult amends to make. We call them walking amends in AA. Though the offenses, crimes and misdemeanors, of this class would seem to take the least effort they can hang around my neck like an albatross. There are offenses that can hardly be confessed at all and most assuredly not advisable to approach those who are victims of my derelictions. The Fifth Step suggests that I do find someone who can listen... understand what I am doing... a minister, spiritually fit sponsor, or therapist.  But, what can I do about them… walk around in guilt and shame, or is there a more positive tack to take once I have admitted them? I know a few men who suffer in this manner and I am not alone. Some have even spent considerable time in prison or have been interned in VA mental wards for things they have done and yet do not feel that ion any manner they have been exonerated of the harm they have done.

            While there may never be a full solution for the guilt and shame of my past, there is a treatment. Just like my alcoholism, there is no cure these feelings, but I can take positive action to be useful regardless. A walking amends means I embrace understanding for those who have been victims of my similar trespasses and I can have forgiveness for other perpetrators. I am able to continue on this path, with the valuable tools of understanding and forgiveness. I can enter into the realm of the Heart of Compassion by causing no further harm. Causing no further harm also suggests that I do so without exploiting my crimes and misdemeanors in the manner of a circus act or public displays of contrition. The walking amends leads to a lifetime of quiet atonement that puts my feet in the direction of transformation with humility and compassion.

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