Pain: As It Is

Whatever you do, don’t shut off your pain; accept your pain and remain vulnerable. However desperate you become, accept your pain as it is, because it is in fact trying to hand you a priceless gift: the chance of discovering, through spiritual practice, what lies behind sorrow.

“Grief,” Rumi wrote, “can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.”

Glimpse After Glimpse,

Sogyal Rinpoche

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Accepting pain takes a good deal of self-appraisal and curiosity to delve into because most of my adult life has been devoted to pain avoidance… especially emotional pain. Feeling challenged by my powerlessness over it, anger is but one of my default responses. I lash out with careless words or plain old mindlessness, sinking further into it… dwelling on it in a downward spiral… replaying the tape over and over… thinking of reasons and what I would say if I could confront her over again. At the gates of a self-made hell, depression greets me with an embrace that becomes chains… a smothering hold on my heart. By the time I get to this point I have no power of my own to break out of it. It is then, in a prison of my own making, that the idea of seeking the Heart of Compassion seems most distasteful and I usually reject that which can be my only salvation. This is the point where pain becomes a teacher that gives me a choice: either stay where I am, or get the help I need. Getting the help I need comes from the compassion that drives forgiveness… I can accept that I am unwilling to forgive but I am willing to be relieved of suffering? This is where it is as it is today but tomorrow is another day. I've been here before and I can’t, I won’t, stay long.

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