This morning I didn’t feel like praying and this is where the
faith of estrangement kicks in. I pray out of pure habit because I feel in my
heart that there is no one on the other end of my pleas that will answer me.
This happens despite all the past experience where I have been humbled enough
to surrender to the will of One greater than all of my troubles. It is a hard
place to be it but it is in such times that the Heart of Compassion does a
strange trick. A hope arises from the center of my being… not so much the kind
of hope that believes my prayers will be answered exactly as I wish… rather, it
is the kind of hope that tells me she will be alright… that we will get through
this no matter what. So I sit or kneel regardless of how I feel or what I
think. Doubt… rationality… does it really matter? All that disappears and I
resign to it. I have, after all, lived and loved through one catastrophe after
another… why not this one?
geo 5,391
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