Confession

Monday, September 30, 2013:

Negligence produces a lot of dirt. As in a house, so in the mind, only a very little dirt collects in a day or two, but if it goes on for many years, it will grow into a vast heap of refuse.

Sutta Nipãta; 

Commentary to Verse 334

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The one 0f the most beneficial practices of the Catholic Church for me was the Sacrament of Confession. It could have been a house cleaning if it would have been done properly. Unfortunately, the simple act of making it a ritualistic sacrament became a roadblock to any authentic confession: i.e., after rolling out a litany of sins, the penitent was sent out of the booth with an Act of Contrition to pay an indulgence of a Rosary or a couple of prayers from the catechism. However, ritualizing an honest self-appraisal had the effect of causing me to separate myself from the positive aspects of an inventory and trivialized the act of making any meaningful amends. A thorough housecleaning became a mere show… a performance for the benefit of appearances. It reminds me of a bit out of Tortilla Flats by John Steinbeck where the woman of the house uses a vacuum cleaner without a motor to give her neighbors the impression that she has a vacuum cleaner.

            A self-appraisal doesn’t have to be any more serious than taking a broom to my kitchen floor. In fact, taking a broom to my kitchen floor can become an act of meditation on its own. The idea of a thorough Tenth Step (the Step in which we AA’s give ourselves a good look-see when our day is done) is important for my mental stability. To be honest, I do a minimum of house-cleaning until I have company coming over, but I have less to do and the task is done easier if I stay ahead of it. Translated to keeping up with the clutter in my mind, I find that some kind of a daily practice of honestly and openly admitting or acknowledging my faults to another human being every now and then, is far superior to any ritualistic performance for the sake of others.

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