Thine Not Mine

Wednesday, September 18, 2013:

 LOVED BACK TO RECOVERY

Our whole treasured philosophy of self-sufficiency had to be cast aside. This had not been, done with old-fashioned willpower; it was instead a matter of developing a willingness to accept these new facts of living. We neither ran nor fought. But accept we did.

Best of the Grapevine,

Vol. I, p. 198

I can be free of my old enslaving self. After a while I recognize, and believe in, the good within myself. I see that I have been loved back to recovery by my Higher Power, who envelopes m. My Higher Power becomes the source of love and strength that is performing a continuing miracle in me. I am sober… and I am grateful.

Daily Reflections, p. 270

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It is a more difficult proposition to get across to a newcomer than even that of a Higher Power. It runs contrary to everything we know that worked for us in the past. Most people already have some kind of concept of God or a religious background. Very few of us come to AA as hard-core atheists, so, it isn’t all that difficult to convince a prospect of some idea of a Higher Power (even if his/her faith had been abandoned long ago). However, convincing any of us that it is useless to fight it… to surrender to it… to cede our powerlessness over it… is downright counter-intuitive and, frankly, weak. We can even think that God needs our help! We can believe in God but our God isn’t powerful enough for this miracle… after all, isn’t this our experience? We can even surrender to the notion that we are powerless over our alcohol in the first Step but the Second Step escapes us because we don’t actually believe that God can restore us to sanity without our help.

            My experience with the Twelve Steps of AA is that they are best employed to see more clearly exactly how powerless I am in the face of this disease: that I take the Steps in the same manner that the Christ revealed the Ten Commandments and the Law of Moses. It is not possible to obey them to perfection. He said he came to fulfil the law and not to destroy it. The Twelve Steps are impossible to take without complete surrender… ya can’t honestly get past Step One without complete deflation of ego and ceding all power to the Heart of Compassion. It isn’t so much to pray; “God, how can I help you?” but it is; “God, what would you have me to do? Not my will but thine be done.”

            I have a friend who likes to say, “God is in the business of miracles.” In other words, “Let go and let God.”

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