It has taken some time for me to break away
from the alienation of a corrupted egoism. What I mean by this alienation isn’t
the loneliness and despair of rejection so much as it is the self-imposed
isolation of spirit that kept me feeling that my dreams were bigger than yours or
that I was better, wiser, and more talented than you. Deep down, of course, I
was afraid that you would find out, not only I wasn’t the sharpest tack in the
drawer, but, that in some respects; I might even be the dullest to be found
there.
Self-esteem
is one thing but such an inflated ego either drives others away or causes me to
withdraw altogether. Under ordinary circumstances this wouldn’t be so bad but,
when I desperately need the help of another hand, it is a crippling defect of
character. I need humility to hold the mirror to my delusions in order to see
myself as I am. This is the sweet spot… the altar upon which I place my ego… where
I break through to the Spirit of Recovery.
geo, 4,601
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