It
takes some reflection and inventory to see that most of what I do and the
causes I embrace arise from adolescent rebellion. The majority of my experience
with life had to do with convincing myself that I believed the bullshit
authorities were trying to feed me. After that, when I took on the mantel of a rebel, I had to convince others that I
believed in what they believed even though my van sported the bumper-sticker: “Question
Authority”. In actuality, I was angry at the world for not giving me what I
thought I earned and my tactic was, if I couldn’t play their reindeer games, I
would side with my fellow mutant reindeer.
I have not
given up a healthy distrust for authority but I have taken another tack on it.
It doesn’t take much vision to understand, as expressed in the prayer of Saint Frances: my
relationship with others depends on harmony trumping discord; love over hatred;
forgiveness over the wrongs others commit against me; truth over error, hope
over the shadows cast by doubt; and light where there is sadness. As I try to
comfort rather than to be comforted; to understand rather than to be
understood; to love than to be loved; discovery of Self through
self-forgetting; and forgiving… forgiving…forgiving; and, most of all, to be
kind to myself; I grow.
geo, 4,698
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