The Realm of Adventure

Wednesday, September 25, 2013:

I can admit that I just don’t get it. At the core of my being I have no idea at all what I am doing here. I start my day with prayer and meditation and have no understanding whatsoever whether or not it actually makes a difference or why I should do so. I sit down at my desk and write out my thoughts, post them on my blog, and then send the link to facebook. I do it out of habit… it goes with my cup of coffee. By the time I’m done writing this, the keyboard is warmed up enough so that I can go to work on the novel. 

   I go to work on the novel because I get anxious if I don’t. I get anxious and impatient and sometimes I take out my frustration on others. If I am not weaving and sculpting words into a form, I feel empty. I don’t know what others should do, but, if they do feel the way I feel about life, if it is an empty canvass, a bardo, a space between the breath of birth and death, and needs filling, I would like it if everyone I know would fall for a muse as demanding as mine (whether the muse demands chopping wood for winter or dishing out beans in a soup line). 

   This muse of mine in particular won’t do anything for me unless 110% of my attention is placed on the altar of my vocation and my vocation happens to be the arts. Unless I sacrifice my time and devote my whole self to this calling, I get nothing… absolutely nothing. When I do put forth the effort I am drained but fulfilled. This is my truth. It may or may not apply to anyone else but I sense that Joseph Campbell was on to something when he advised those he mentored to “follow your bliss.” Following your bliss is about risk and moving out of our comfort zones into the realm of adventure. The realm of adventure is where I found love, where I found hope, where I found the muse. She awaited me there and led me out of the prison of mediocrity. The key to the door to the realm of adventure is willingness to step through the porthole. “Knock and the door shall be open to you,” said the Carpenter. And I might add, “If no one answers, barge your way through,” it is worth it.

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