FEAR OF SUCCESS
Fear that we will lose whatever good
things come to us is one of the classic explanations for the origin of [1]dukka,
the Second Noble Truth. When we come to understand that making our happiness
dependent upon something impermanent and clinging to it can only bring
suffering, we can acknowledge impermanence, use our understanding to try to
avoid clinging, and probably not do the things that would force loss.
12 Steps on Buddha’s Path;
Bill, Buddha
and We,
by Laura S
&
Fear of success? I
would like to have some: at least where my novels are concerned.
Fear of
failure is a bigger boogieman for me. Those
of us who have chosen the creative arts know rejection and fear that our shit
just isn’t good enough; that there is a reason we are starving artists and that
the reason for failure is that rejection is telling us to go get a day job. I don’t know any artist of
any ability and promise that doesn’t express this fear privately or publicly... most are driven by it! I
can admit that sometimes I fall into anger and jealousy over the success of
my fellows when I ought to be glad for them. I have gone to an
opening, looked at the work, said secretly or openly to myself, and privately, to anyone who will listen; “This is shit, I do far better work and I can’t get my
art displayed anywhere!” Ah, the duplicity! Especially when I then purposely cross the room and shake the
artist's hand saying, "Interesting work, congratulations."
Fear, in such cases, causes me to add a two-faced character trait to the defects compelled by fear. While this is true some of the
time, thank God, I’m not like that all of the time. I can actually take joy in
the success of others when I am spiritually fit.
Fear of rejection is strong for
artists and it is mostly the fear of losing our vocation… that we are not good
enough for it and are wasting our time… that no one will accept and publish our manuscript
or hang our paintings in a prestigious gallery… this fear haunts me at such
times but I can’t allow it to snuff the muse. The secret is to let fear compel
me rather than block my creative drive. I meditate today to center my intention
and hit the keys…. I will not allow fear to stand in the way of success. It is more important to sculpt the sentence, find the perfect words for myself than to worry about promotion or acceptance from others. It is enough that I enjoy... love the work.
geo 5,518
[1] Dukkha
(Pali, Sanskrit) the quality of underlying stress, dissatisfaction, discomfort,
and impatience that is part of everyday life and can cause suffering when there
is no wisdom; most often translated as “suffering”.
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