Other's Opinions

Evaluation of Mind Training
20

Of the two witnesses, hold the
principle one.

"In any situation there are two witnesses; other people’s view of you and your own view of yourself. Of these, the principle witness is your own insight. You should not just go along with other people’s opinion of you. The practice of this slogan is always to be true to yourself. Usually when you do something, you would like to get some feedback from your world. You have your own opinion of how well you have done, and you always have other people’s opinions of how well you have done. Usually you keep your own opinion of yourself to yourself. First you have your opinions about something, and then you begin to branch out and ask somebody else: Was that right? How do you think I’m doing?” This is one of the traditional questions that comes up in the meetings between teacher and student."

TRAINING THE MIND 

by Chogyam Trungpa

~ 

 I live in a fellowship where I rarely have to ask this question of others. The  people I know are very quick to offer criticism: justified or not. This isn’t such a bad thing, however. After all, often times they also think I care enough about their opinions to be pleased at compliments. I confess, I do care… perhaps sometimes too much… fishing for compliments and resentful when I don’t get them. This dependency becomes especially glaring when I think I am disrespected and react accordingly. It is sometimes embarrassing… very embarrassing when the slight wasn’t intended at all. I practice meditation because I need to set a default… I can then automatically pause and understand the true nature of what it is that upsets me. When I sit I center on what is important and all that is trivial slips away. Awake, I see myself as I am without embellishment… assets or faults… because it is there that I break through and discover the stability that gives me assurance in the face of criticism or the laurels of praise. As a direct result of this practice I find that my opinions of others gradually… very gradually…take a backseat to the heart to heart power of love.


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