How can you possibly expect to help others unless you yourself are in touch with your own defects? I know that for myself I don’t even give credence to people outside of recovery who pontificate about our diseases. Give me someone who’s been there, done what I’ve done and is brave enough to admit they’re still far from perfect. I’ll run as fast as I can from the pure and saintly beings who want to save me. Save me from what? Or more insidiously, for what? To me, the only difference between a halo and a noose is the distance of twelve inches.
Mel Ash
The Zen of Recovery
Help comes from diversity. Isolated and left to my own devices I found that my problem was more profound than I ever imagined. If I had no problem with drugs and alcohol I wouldn’t have even tried to seek a solution. Pounding on a pulpit and threatening me with Hell-fire didn’t work because I was already in a Hell of my own making. The curious thing was that I had fooled myself into thinking my excesses were the right path for me. I couldn’t imagine that depression, confusion, bewilderment and alcohol abuse weren’t an essential component of my creative drive. Anyone not so afflicted had nothing to say to me. This contempt wasn’t helpful either and, ironically, it became the fulcrum that wedged me into sobriety. I had no idea that there was anyone else who felt the same way as I did. I was astounded at finding the diversity in Alcoholics Anonymous. I thought I would sit around in meetings bemoaning my past… pounding my chest in mea culpas… and immersing myself in self-pity and regret.
I found instead a fellowship of hope, faith and true encouragement by others who had experienced the same despair I had felt. I found joy and laughter that lifted and inspired me to continue in spite of my shortcomings. No longer burdened with guilt and shame I took the steps of recovery that relieved me from even the vestiges of the obsession to use and drink.
geo
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