Anger: A High Hurdle

To see how erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time. We could perceive them quickly in others, but only slowly in ourselves. First of all, we had to admit that we had many of these defects, even though such disclosures were painful and humiliating. Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word “blame” from our speech and thought. This required great willingness even to begin. But once over the first two or three high hurdles, the course ahead began to look easier. For we had started to get perspective on ourselves, which is another way of saying that we were gaining in humility.

Twelve Steps and

Twelve Traditions, pp. 47-48

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The idea of dropping the word “blame” from my speech was one thing but dropping it from my thoughts takes practice.  It isn’t so much that I must approve of some of the things that seem to be foisted upon me, but that I take responsibility for how I have allowed them to ruin my outlook on life. These things are deeply rooted in my behavior.  A litmus test of how I am affected would be when I am put on hold by a representative of the phone company after three or four transfers to another department… or as simple as when I am cut-off on the freeway. In relating these situations to a sympathetic ear I can hear myself saying how angry they, or it, “made” me. I think that I have the right to be angry because I am not responsible for the anger...  I have been made angry by "them" and am not essentially an angry man.

   The big questions become; how willing am I to allow anger to cause me to be sick at heart or how willing am I to be healed? If I am responsible for the anger, and am not fooled into blaming others for it, then I can do something about it. Even when I find that I am being used… that my weakness is exploited… there is an answer that directs my spirit. It is best said in the beatitudes found in Luke 6:28; "Pray for them that despitefully use you…” The Heart of Compassion is so very near if I pause when agitated or doubtful. This elevates my mind to accept that it is simply another human being, just being human, that can’t do anything to me, if I don’t do it to myself. The other becomes human with similar problems to mine and not some nameless, soulless mask of a creature.

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