The Clarity of "I Don't Know"

When you have learned, through discipline, to simplify your life, and so practiced the mindfulness of meditation, and through it loosened the hold of aggression, clinging, and negativity on your whole being, the wisdom of insight can slowly dawn. And in it all-revealing clarity can show you, distinctly and directly, both the subtlest workings of your own mind and nature of reality.
Glimpse After Glimpse
Sogyal Rinpoche

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The mindfulness of meditation seems an unreachable goal in the face of the nature of reality that reveals itself in the horrors of the day. Sometimes it is the absolute terror and insanity of the nature of reality that challenges my equilibrium and I look for answers… solutions to the problem… falling back into self-righteous indignation… seeking something, anything, to blame… depression over my own powerlessness to do anything about it… anger seething deep inside where the darkness of confusion reigns.

Facing this reality; I sit, wait, pause… and ask: do I believe in a power greater than myself? Is there evil in the world? Can I see it for what it is? Can I trust that the Heart of Compassion will prevail in the midst of chaos? Where do I place my faith? I look inside with questions of this nature and sense a direction transcending, but not escaping the apparent reality of suffering. If ever there has been a need for clarity it is in times like these when faith is challenged. Letting go of long-held beliefs, I look into my heart and seek direction: which ones do I hold as “articles of faith” and which ones do I know to be true through experience?

I trust in the Spirit of Compassion because that mysterious reality lifted me from the grips of an unyielding and powerful addiction that I could not overcome of my own volition. This is the thin thread of faith that extends to the rest… a holy “I Don’t Know” is my best starting point towards an all-revealing clarity of mind.
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