Where Do We Go?

Friday, July 5, 2013:

Here is where the rubber hits the road… where faith is applied… where acceptance is the only viable alternative to despair.

I was, however, fascinated by Bonnie’s absence of mind. Actually, I don’t really think she went anywhere. She was very present, but to us onlookers, it seemed that she wasn’t. I believe that her mind was scanning… going over and over again the same phrases, words and pleas for help… scanning for something to anchor itself on. It can be described as more of a semi-conscious state rather than an unconscious one. The studies using M.R.I.’s to see what parts of the brain lights up might show some surprising results as these fantastic devices have been used in the past to do so for everything from Alzheimer’s to meditative states of elevated consciousness.

I also believe that it wasn't necessary to resort to baby talk when addressing Bonnie as her mind was merely somewhat elsewhere... she was still an adult... eh?. My personal experience with having gran mal seizures, and still being conscious but unable to speak, is where I experienced similar treatment by those concerned about me. Because I couldn’t put together any words, it was assumed that I wasn’t there. I also remember when Big Al was in a coma and close to death. We, his friends, were gathered around his bed and chatting as though he wasn’t a part of the conversation. Someone said something about the Saint Francis Prayer and Al let out a loud grunt. As we recited it in unison, Al’s continence changed and he grunted louder after we finished. I believe this was his way of letting us know he was still with us.

Every drunk that has experienced a black-out knows something of this too. The rages and so on are like an automatic brain scan... a search for some way out of the insanity and very little of it comes back after we wake up the next morning... I have always wondered where I went at such times.

geo 5,397