Our first attempts at inventories are apt to prove very unrealistic... I was falling straight back into the pattern of my drinking days. Here were the same old goals --- power, fame, and applause. Besides, I had the best alibi known --- the spiritual alibi. The fact that I really did have a spiritual objective made this utter nonsense seem perfectly right.
As Bill Sees It
193, the Spiritual Alibi
The Grapevine, June 1961<< << << >> >> >>
*I sometimes have to stop myself with a reminder whenever I lay out unrealistic goals, asking, “What is happening, George, aren't you getting your turban wound too tight?” Aren’t my ambitions sure to lead me away or back to the "same patterns" that brought me down in the first place? Often I hear it said, “I meditate to accomplish tranquility and guidance… to make conscious contact with God.” These are very good and wonderful side dishes to sitting quietly but I have to be reminded that meditation is a goal in and of itself. Taking a few minutes out of my day to sit… just try to sit, dammit! ... is enough. Conscious contact with a Higher Power completes the cycle that is essential to moving through my day but I can’t have that without sitting quietly… "letting the dogs run without a leash until they come back to my side” has proven to be the most productive way to open up to a serenity that abides and humility opens up contact with the grace and beauty of the dance we call God.
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