Wisdom and Strength

In A.A. we find that the actual good results of prayer are beyond question. They are matters of knowledge and experience. All those who have persisted have found strength not ordinarily their own. They have found wisdom beyond their usual capability. And they have increasingly found a peace of mind which can stand firm in the face of difficult circumstances.

TWELVE STEPS

AND

TWELVE TRADITIONS

STEP ELEVEN

(pp. 105-106)

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If there is no one else to turn to… where do I go? When I am alone in the, secret, dark chambers of my heart… where do I find light? Prayer and meditation, if practiced regularly, trains my mind towards taking a pause before the time calls… and time calls regardless of how well I think I'm doing.

            Life is fleeting; it is a mysterious procession that arrives at my door without a calling card... and an invitation.. it crashes the party! I can think of several occasions in my life where a seemingly trivial incident changed everything that followed. We think that it would take catastrophic tragedies that do so and, otherwise, life goes on pretty much the same as before: but the routines and pleasures of only a few minutes before are not to be had… they are no more. Change comes of it own timing… sometimes it is a merely a decision made or an overheard comment… that woman I met at a dinner (I married her)… that hike on a mountain trail (I saw God's work on a sandstone boulder)… or that time I was riding my bike and whap! I came to in a hospital bed. I do best with change if I am prepared. I prepare myself today and am ready to let go of everything I think is mine today. My suffering is caused by hanging on… refusing  let go of the past or the desire of rewards in the future, the Buddha might have said.

            It is easy to see the importance of prayer when I am suffering… doesn't it make sense to do so when all is well with me? If I pause and take the a few minutes at the start of my day, don't I find I am better equipped for change when it whacks me up against the side of the head? Intuition, premonition and conscious awareness to the rhythms of life touches me in meditation to move best to the drumbeat… the dance of the cosmos. The black knight on the white steed of change awaits my awareness.

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