Wednesday, March 13, 2013

The Wolf is a Dog without Manners

And so the Steppenwolf had two natures, a human and a wolfish one. This was his fate, and it may well be that it was not a very exceptional one. There must have been many good men who had a good deal of the dog or the fox, or the fish or the serpent in them without experiencing any exceptional difficulties on that account. In such cases the man and the fox, the man and the fish lived together and neither did the other any harm… In the case of Harry, however, it was different. In him the man and the wolf did not go together, they did not help each other, but were in continual and deadly enmity. The one existed solely to harm the other…
Steppenwolf;
Treatise on the Steppenwolf ,
Herman Hesse
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I have a few favorite books that describe my condition perfectly and Steppenwolf is one of them. The fact is I am compelled by forces from within that others seem to have made peace with. Some of the other books that hit the mark for me are; The Marshlands by Andre Gide, On the Road by Jack Kerouac, and the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. These give me the assurance that I am not alone. These are books that only those who are like me can grasp in their entirety because they don’t hedge on my condition. “For example, if Harry, as man, had a beautiful thought, felt a fine and noble emotion, or performed a so-called good act, then the wolf bared his teeth at him and laughed and showed him with bitter scorn how laughable this whole noble show was in the eyes of the beast…”
    For me, it wasn’t enough to quit drinking; I had to do something to tame the beast because I never could kill it. That took more action than putting the plug on the jug. The spiritual way of life had to be completely integrated into every aspect of my life. Others don’t seem to be compelled by forces beyond their comprehension because they, by all appearances, have been born with a tame beast. I have to face the fact, even sober as the proverbial judge; I have been born with the wildest of beasts before anything can be done about my condition and not compare myself with others.

geo 5,288

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