How can I write about “letting go” when inside of my heart I can’t let
go of resentments from wounds inflicted decades ago? I have to confess, as I
examine the deeply felt anger and the blunt-force pounding of a broken heart,
that they still revisit me now and then. The truth is that it never goes away.
I’d be the worst kind of hypocrite if I didn’t admit that I am incapable of
forgiving of my own volition. I can, if I allow self-pity to surface, attempt
to cause harm by my words and I have done that as recently as yesterday. Not
only that, but, my heart refuses to apologize. When I kneel, and sit to pray
and meditate, I feel like I am a worse hypocrite than mentioned already. I
carry the burden of suffering like it is the host to the altar of sacrifice. There,
I lay it down before the Heart of Compassion and I try to do my best to cause
no further harm.
geo
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