The Privacy of Intimate Feelings

Sunday, June 30, 2013 (07:40):

Today is the fifth day Bonnie has been in I.C.U. She is having some tubes taken out at this moment. I am supposing that this is a good thing. You just never know. She was sleeping at this time. That is a good sign too. We will wait patiently and hope for the best.

Now, I sit.

Her MD just let me know that he expects her kidney to recover full function in a couple of days. She is sleeping well and just had a feeding tube put in… that is a good thing because it means she will be eating solid foods soon. She’ll still be in I.C.U. a few more days.

I just want to put this out there. I do love and appreciate everyone’s concern but I have to say this.

Yesterday I went to a meeting in which everyone, with very good intentions, was asking me how Bonnie’s doing and almost insisting that I tell them what I’ve had to tell others what seemed a thousand times. I felt obligated to let them know but I really wanted to attend that meeting for peace of mind. Having to tell people over and over again what I thought was bad news was tiring. I sorta flipped out… just didn’t want to talk… wanted them all to simply let me be. I know that they care but, please, just let me know you care and don’t press me for information I haven’t offered. Phone calls are good but please be patient. I will try to answer the dozen or more messages you kindly left. Thank you, and I do appreciate your concern too.

This has been a valuable lesson about how I would like to treat other people. Treat them as I would like to be treated. Be patient and; if the worried-one, or grieving-one, chooses to volunteer information, just listen. The ones that did that said more to me than all the advice and well-wishing. I know that the intentions were from a good place but respect is so much more important than good intentions. To me, so much of it is about being compassion… empathy more so than sympathy.

I came to appreciate facebook because it puts some distance between those I wish to inform and it allows me the privacy of my more intimate feelings.

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