Why Not Reflect?

Thinking of Dr. Conner

Looking into death needn't be frightening or morbid. Why not reflect on death when you are really inspired, relaxed, and comfortable, lying in bed, or on vacation, or listening to music that particularly delights you? Why not reflect on it when you are happy, in good health, confident, and full of well-being? Don’t you notice that there are particular moments when you are naturally inspired to introspection? Work with them gently, for these are moments when you can go through a powerful experience, and your whole worldview can change quickly. These are moments when former beliefs crumble on their own, and you can find yourself being transformed.

Glimpse After Glimpse

Sogyal Rinpoche

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It has been my custom to refrain from writing about death in these reflections. This has been because my aim is to encourage others who are considering all the alternatives to the mystical/spiritual path and do not wish to compel beliefs out of fear of the inevitable, with carrot and stick approaches, promising the bliss of heaven or threatening the tortures of hell. However, something happened yesterday that has had me reflecting on the topic since then that I would be remiss if I neglected to comment on it here.

            We were at Bonnie’s scheduled doctor’s follow-up appointment at which she was asked if she had a recent blood test. She said that she'd one last week for her appointment with the surgeon who’d performed the operation on her back. Without so much as a twitch or hint of grief, the physician said, “Dr. Conner is dead.”

            We were both sure that there had to be a mistake. We had just seen him a few days before and her surgeon, at that time, appeared to be a picture of health. He was a bright, healthy, middle-age man who was always very thorough and honest with us about the alternatives to surgery and the prospects for recovery. However, it turned out that, after a bike ride, he was not feeling well and laid down on the couch where he simply died…. just like that!

            A kind, intelligent and very professional doctor whose work had eased the suffering of so many, had passed away without any rhyme or reason or so much as a cosmic wink. It just doesn’t seem fair that life and death are so arbitrary… that people can go… the good or the bad. 

          After thinking of these things my mind goes back to all the people I've known who have all passed away just as arbitrarily. I think of all the funerals and wakes I've attended thinking, "Better him than me." But, nonetheless, I have come to believe that it is impossible to live well without considering what it means to die well: awake, aware, mindful and compassionate. Does it matter all that much? To me, the point is that I make the best of my short spin on the planet and to fear not that which every sentient being will eventually experience. The Buddhist prayer comes to mind:

Everything changes, everything passes,

things appearing, things disappearing.

But --- when all is over --- everything having appeared and having disappeared, being and extinction, both transcended ---

Still the basic emptiness and silence abides,

And that is blissful Peace.

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