Mutual Respect

When I am approached by someone new to this Step, I am awed by the responsibility and listen without comment or advice (unless, of course, it is asked for). To interfere with the openness of this very private and personal introspection can disrupt true revelation. Listening is the most powerful tool I have for the newfound recovery of a fellow addict or alcoholic. It is so very helpful in easing the guilt and denial most of us carry well past our sobriety date. Most of my character defects stick around and are hard to shrug off without continued introspection and a willingness to listen.  Sharing my own wrongs, when called for, with a sponsee eases his1 trepidation and puts us on equal footing. Mutual respect arises out of a spirit that; psychiatry, psychology, therapies of all sorts, including the confessional, cannot offer. What we have that differs from all but a few religious disciplines is the recognition that we are, first of all, on equal footing with each other. That is why it is imperative that I don't put myself on a pedestal when one of us opens his heart to me. It is equally important we guard against allowing our fellows to suppose we are superior in any sense at all. We are not gathering disciples! After all, Step Five is all about opening ourselves up to the Heart of Compassion.

           

1 I use the male pronoun because I have found that I ought to stick to the basic principle of men sponsoring men and women likewise. All sorts of problems can arise if we ignore this precaution in most cases. There are rare cases… but they are perilous.

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