I get discouraged. What it is that makes me so damned different.

I get discouraged and can’t figure out what it is that makes me so damned different. I find very…. very few people that I can agree with on most things. The people I associate with are either completely out of the loop with political issues and have no opinion based on anything but feelings or are so opinionated on the Right or the Left that any discourse is impossible. I especially hate getting into political wrangling as I grow older. I just try to keep my opinions to myself and let others take on the contest of will.

Even my associates in “The Program” seem to be… how can I put it? … so involved with each other that it is hard to break through. I mean, it takes a real effort to get close to anyone. I only have one or two friends I can actually have a human conversation with. The big secret is, the Alano Club is awfully cliquish in spite of the claims to the contrary. The young people clique with each other and most of he older people don’t socialize at all. There was a party this weekend but the hosts didn't give us the address. Even though I asked in response to the invitation. I should have called but I am tired of the exclusion-ism of the Alano Club. What is with that!!! 

I go to open meetings because I don’t like what I see as the result of closed meetings or men's meetings. Most, but not all, people in them are too Gung-ho for my tastes. Besides, I have closed meetings with my sponsor and closest friends. I am sober and I do sponsor people so don’t give me any shit about that. Then I got on facebook to expand my perimeters. I’d hoped to find people I could be able to communicate with but I seem to be cut-out of that too. I rarely ever get a comment on any of my posts. What is with that? Is what I Post so lame? Is it because I’m not using facebook to patrol for ‘tang? What am I doing wrong? I just post my Daily Meds from my blog and say fuck it for anything else.

Then I can whine about my ebooks. Only one friend and a few family members have even taken the time to purchase or read one after posting for three months on my page in facebook… damned near begging my so-called friends to look at them. So, I just want to stay on the pity-pot today and say “Screw you AA and my dear facebook friends.”