Sunday, January 22, 2012

The Alienation of a Corrupted Egoism


It has taken some time for me to break away from the alienation of a corrupted egoism. What I mean by this alienation isn’t the loneliness and despair of rejection so much as it is the self-imposed isolation of spirit that kept me feeling that my dreams were bigger than yours or that I was better, wiser, and more talented than you. Deep down, of course, I was afraid that you would find out, not only I wasn’t the sharpest tack in the drawer, but, that in some respects; I might even be the dullest to be found there.

Self-esteem is one thing but such an inflated ego either drives others away or causes me to withdraw altogether. Under ordinary circumstances this wouldn’t be so bad but, when I desperately need the help of another hand, it is a crippling defect of character. I need humility to hold the mirror to my delusions in order to see myself as I am. This is the sweet spot… the altar upon which I place my ego… where I break through to the Spirit of Recovery.

geo, 4,601

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