Toxic Relationships

As I sat on my cushion this morning my mind came to yesterday's reflection. I can see that it might have been interpreted as an admonition to stay in toxic marriages, at bad jobs, or to live in horrible situations or environments. Contrarily, drawing from personal experience, I can understand how leaving toxic relations can smother our incentive to discover and uncover our full potential. A relationship can be toxic even when there is an abundance of love and no apparent abuse. A job can be inhibiting even if it is a creative, lucrative and harmonious occupation. There are times when we have to move on or our spirit dies.


A scripture from the Bible has the Christ insisting on the willingness to launch out when he warned his apostles, saying in one of the most assertive prologues of the Gospels according to Matthew in chapter ten; "He that loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me..." and so on. If I take the base meaning of the Greek word, a Christ, as the anointed... or to extend that meaning to the enlightened... we can easily grasp it. 


The discipline I embrace is a cleansing one that brings me to an awareness of what I am allergic to and can no longer tolerate toxic relationships that smother the spirit of recovery in my heart, whether it is a job or a lover. I thank God that my relationships, my lover, my family, and so on, are no longer toxic. Even my ex-wife is now a dear friend because we both saw the need to be ourselves, separate from each other. When I made amends to my family the healing took place. When I moved on from a toxic job my spirit revived. When the marriage became suffocating she saw the need to leave it even though it took some time for me to understand that she was leaving it and not me. Love means that I have the courage to act.... or to let go and let God. Sometimes it is easy and sometimes it takes work... but a new freedom and a new happiness has evolved from the effort.