Though my View
is as spacious as the sky,
My actions and
respect for cause and effect are as fine
as grains of flour.
PADMASAMBHAVA
I
shared a problem with my sponsor in the early months of my sobriety. He
paused and gave some serious thought about it before he answered, “I’m not sure
how to answer your question; will you allow me to ask my sponsor about it?” I
was impressed by his answer. First of all because he admitted he didn’t have
all the answers but mostly because he respected my privacy enough to ask me whether or not he could defer to his sponsor for an answer. He wasn’t asking to
expose my concerns with just anyone. He was going to someone he knew and trusted to keep
the strictest confidence. When I got home and meditated that night, I had a
vision of a long tradition, a line of folks… a chain connecting us that went
back to the very beginnings of this Fellowship… to that first meeting with Bill
W. and Dr. Bob. It was a most powerful experience that binds me in trust to
those who come to me in confidence. Because of this I have learned the
principle of discretion and to ask permission of the queried before I share
anything trusted in me with anyone.
This principle
is sometimes a difficult one to adhere to. I.e., I was once asked by a friend jailed
for a DUI who didn’t want his loved ones to know about it. It was a most
difficult request because the people concerned are very dear to me and they might have been willing to help him. In this case I talked with my sponsor, giving it
considerable attention in prayer and meditation. I knew I would look bad when it
became public and others found out that I knew of it. I kept it to myself in
the end even though I would have been justified not to. After all, none of
these principles are chiseled in stone. The Heart of Compassion is flexible. I
had a simple choice in this case: Was my reputation for discretion more important
than what others thought of me?
geo, 4,685
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