Extreme Behavior

I can make the mistake of too closely identifying with confusion. In doing so, the confusion of my fears can become a crutch and a shield against my better instincts. The medical sciences are beginning to understand the disease of alcoholism/addiction and the areas of brain damage caused by long-term abuse and neuro-chemical relationships on the cellular level. These aspects of brain injury are expressed by extreme behavior and mistaken for moral failing, acting out, attention mongering or failures of character. We can identify anger and depression as an extension of our fears but, more importantly, our fears arise from confusion. This confusion in early recovery is part and parcel of chemical withdrawal and the restoration of our minds to normalcy. It is one good reason why it is more productive to understand these character defects as symptoms of disease rather than moral failings.

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We can make the fatal mistake of identifying with our confusion, and then using it to judge and condemn ourselves, which feeds the lack of self-love that so many of us suffer today.

Glimpse After Glimpse: Sogyal Rinpoche

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